The Adventures of Chad Johnson, Punching Fool
Welcome to another edition of “The Adventures of Chad Johnson, Punching Fool.”
When last we saw Chad, he was socking his head coach Marvin Lewis in the face.
“That’s what you get for not throwing me the ball on every play Marvin! You call yourself a coach? If I got the ball every time, we’d win the Super Bowl every single year!”
Angered at not being thrown the ball on every play, Chad quit the Bengals, and went on the road campaigning for Barack Obama.
“Yes we can! Yes we can! You represent politics as usual Hillary Clinton! Take that you old bag!”
Becoming involved with politics infused Chad with an incredible sense of civic responsibility. So, to do his duty for his nation, he flew to Iran to take on the evil Mahmood Ahmadinejad!
“You dare defy the will of the civilized world by refusing to end your nuclear program? You dare to stand beside that dictator Hugo Chavez and accuse America of being an imperialist aggressor? Well eat my knuckles Mahmood! You don’t even have the popular support of people in your own country! You’re nothing but a media-created boogeyman!”
But there were problems at home too. The evil Anton Chigurh was on the loose again.
“Call this bitch! Oh…nice haircut too! Did your momma use hair clippers or just get out the lawn sheers?”
Yes, Chad Johnson has once again made the world safe for egomaniacal football players, hope-selling minority presidential candidates, imperialist aggressors and Josh Brolin.
Don’t forget to tune in next time, when Chad Johnson clones himself and goes back in time to take down Fidel Castro and Nikita Khrushchev!
“Put missiles in Cuba? I don’t think so bitches!”
Tags: Barack Obama, Bengals, Chad Johnson, Hillary Clinton, Josh Brolin, Mahmood Ahmadinejad, Marvin Lewis, Super Bowl
Related SportsWrap Posts:
- Hue Jackson Denies Chad Johnson Punching Story- Chad Johnson Talks About Marvin Lewis Punching Incident
- T.J. Houshmandzadeh Says Bengals Should Trade Chad Johnson
- Chad Johnson May Sit Out 2008
- Chad Johnson Trade to Redskins Turned Down by Bengals
March 7th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
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March 7th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
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March 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
[…] Taylorâ??s Ent. News wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptWelcome to another edition of “The Adventures of Chad Johnson, Punching Fool.” When last we saw Chad, he was socking his head coach Marvin Lewis in the face. “That’s what you get for not throwing me the ball on every play Marvin! You call yourself a coach? If I got the ball every […] […]