Derek Jeter is Dating Minka Kelly of Friday Night Lights. Where Does She Rank Among Derek’s Other Girlfriends?
yankees superstud Derek Jeter was seen out to dinner with Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly (who may want to get herself a Valtrex prescription right about now). This keeps alive Jeter’s streak of scoring with famous women. The rundown:
Mariah Carey - Butterfly-fixated fugboat singer. Derek must’ve been incredibly drunk to think this cow was worth a screw. Or maybe she was a slumpbuster. Now I know why he moved on to the gold thong. Swinging strikeout.
Jordana Brewster - Googled her. Very nice-looking girl. One day, if her career takes off, Derek may revisit her. Stand-up triple.
Adriana Lima - Not sure why Derek would go out with her since, as we know, she doesn’t spread her legs for anyone except Marko Jaric. She’s hot but the lack of action downgrades this one. Ground-rule double.
Vanessa Minnillo - Cute but boring. And she drinks a whole lot. She was probably just too wild for Derek who may like to enjoy himself but is still an athlete who’s serious about taking care of his body. Plus her knife fixation probably freaked him out. Dribbler through the infield.
Jessica Alba - Mixed results for Derek. On the one hand, he helped his reputation immeasurably by nailing possibly the most drooled-over woman on the face of the earth. On the other hand…he gave her herpes and everyone found out. Deep drive to center…caught at the wall.
Scarlett Johansson - Nothing to quarrel with here. Hot Hollywood starlet with fabulous knockers. Derek would’ve held on longer but, you know, she started talking. Two-run double.
Jessica Biel - Oh Derek…are you really into trannies? You and Ronaldinho. Weak pop-up to third.
Minka Kelly - What’s not to like here? She’s young. She’s a rising star. She’s very beautiful. Plus, she doesn’t seem to mind that Derek is getting older and starting to lose his hair. He’d better hold on to her…or wait a couple years until Miley Cyrus is legal. Two-run homer!
Tags: Adriana Lima, Derek Jeter, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Mariah Carey, Marko Jaric, Miley Cyrus, Minka Kelly, Ronaldinho, Scarlett Johansson, Vanessa Minnillo, yankees
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May 23rd, 2008 at 11:07 pm
[…] yankees superstud Derek Jeter was seen out to dinner with Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly (who may want to get herself a Valtrex prescription right about now). This keeps alive Jeter’s streak of scoring with famous women. The rundown: Mariah Carey - Butterfly-fixated fugboat singer. Derek must’ve been incredibly drunk to think this cow was worth a screw. Or maybe she was a slumpbuster. Now I know why he moved on to the gold thong. Swinging strikeout. Jordana Brewster - Googled her. Source: Derek Jeter is Dating Minka Kelly of Friday Night Lights. Where Does She Rank Among Derek’s Other Girlfriends? […]
May 24th, 2008 at 12:27 am
[…] yankees superstud Derek Jeter was seen out to dinner with Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly (who may want to get herself a Valtrex prescription right about now). This keeps alive Jeter’s streak of scoring with famous women. The rundown: Mariah Carey - Butterfly-fixated fugboat singer. Derek must’ve been incredibly drunk to think this cow was worth a screw. Or maybe she was a slumpbuster. Now I know why he moved on to the gold thong. Swinging strikeout. Jordana Brewster - Googled her. Source: Derek Jeter is Dating Minka Kelly of Friday Night Lights. Where Does She Rank Among Derek’s Other Girlfriends? […]
May 26th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
[…] yankees superstud Derek Jeter was seen out to dinner with Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly (who may want to get herself a Valtrex prescription right about now). This keeps alive Jeter’s streak of scoring with famous women. The rundown: Mariah Carey - Butterfly-fixated fugboat singer. Derek must’ve been incredibly drunk to think this cow was worth a screw. Or maybe she was a slumpbuster. Now I know why he moved on to the gold thong. Swinging strikeout. Jordana Brewster - Googled her. Source: Derek Jeter is Dating Minka Kelly of Friday Night Lights. Where Does She Rank Among Derek’s Other Girlfriends? […]