There’s nothing like a funny sexual name to get you all giggly. But sometimes a rather pedestrian name like Gay is not sophomoric by itself–so we have software glitches to help with that. Enter Tyson Homosexual, who yesterday clocked the world’s fastest time in the 100m with a wind-aided 9.68. His performance spread through the internets like wildfire. Check the coverage on Google News:

Apparently all of the internet searches haven’t caught on yet. As of this writing, searching Google Images for Tyson Homosexual brings up pictures of Mike Tyson, as well as a few photos you probably shouldn’t check at work.

Michael Phelps dropped the 400 IM world record by a stunning full second - going 4:05.25. Florida Gator Ryan Lochte went an also impressive 4:06.22. The field was a full seven seconds behind Lochte.

Phelps dominated during the butterfly and backstroke, but Lochte took the lead during the breaststroke leg and maintained it through the final flipturn on the free-style. Out of the turn Phelps streamlined and kicked himself to full body length lead… which he never game back.

There is no better time for sports viewing. Olympic Trials track and field followed by swimming. And world records are being shattered. Here is sprinting star Tyson Gay breaking the 9.70 mark with an unbelievably smooth 9.68. It is wind-aided (4.1m) but the results are still phenomenal:

Jerry Jones is racing to amass is many head cases as he possibly can. Michael Vick will always have a home in Dallas when his stint in pin-stripes ends:

The Cowboys hope to settle the Terry Glenn situation by training camp in late July, so Jerry Jones said it ends any search for a veteran wide out. A source told ESPN.com that acquiring Joe Horn from the Falcons was a possibility to fill the position if Glenn did not return.
- Atlanta Journal Constitution

At long last, fans of the Back to the Future series and shoe aficionados around the world can rejoice in Nike’s latest creation: the Hyperdunk McFly 2015. You may remember these shoes from Back to the Future 2. If not, here’s a refresher:

Apparently I missed the grassroots movement to bring these mythical kicks to the streets. But Nike has released a close-enough version to the general public. I say a “close-enough” version because the shoes still don’t come with the automatic fastening mechanism that Marty McFly enjoyed before hopping on his hoverboard, and for $499, you’d think they might throw that in.

The shoes are already on sale at Marqueesole.com. Now if only I could get me a hoverboard….

Have a look:

Maria Sharapova is rocking the most bizarre tennis outfit we’ve seen since Andre Agassi wore tights stitched into his neon green / purple Nike shorts. Sharapova’s Nike ‘Tuxedo’ is meant to capture London’s ‘history in bespoke tailoring’.

“I’ve never worn shorts at a Grand Slam,” says Maria. “I’m going to be debuting that. Call it menswear, obviously. It’s kind of like a tuxedo look, very simple lines, classic.”

The real test is what would the local tennis players at your country club look like in this ridiculous outfit? Maria can rock anything… but not even a penguin could wear this thing:

The Chicago Tribune is trying to go viral with AJ Pierzynski…. perhaps the most un-viral player in baseball (outside of Barry Bonds)… after all, half of Chicago loves this guy and the rest of the world hates him: “Show your White Sox pride with this button for A.J. Pierzynski.”

He’s come a long way since Shaq Diesel, but Shaq has clearly displayed an improvement in his rap skills.

I present to you the latest installment in the legendary Shaq-Kobe feud. Oh, you thought they put this to bed after they shook hands in warm-ups? This barely-SFW freestyle nearly brings it to a Trump-Rosie level–with O’Neal playing Trump.

The dunk may be impressive, but Candace Parker’s dance moves afterwards reinvoke the ghost of Mark Madson and make us all giddy:

There is no more exciting and rare play in baseball than stealing home. So I’ve compiled the eight best plays captured on video - from little league to the bigs. But first - how NOT to slide into home:

8.Jackie Robinson steals home. A classic, but the quality sucks so it’s relegated to 8th:

7. Little League Steal - Pitcher Goes Head Over Heels

6. Why not to steal home:

5. Corey Patterson Shows Why to Run Alertly Against the Orioles

4. Omar Vizquel Steals Home - An Actual giants Highlight

3. Carlos Ruiz steals home for the Phillies - a Catcher!

2. The homeplate slapper “tsuyoshi shinjo”

1. Blue Jays second baseman Aaron Hill stolen home against Andy Pettitte of the New York yankees in a Tuesday’s night game at the Rogers Centre. The Blue Jays beat the Yankees 3-2.