Danica…this will do nothing for the old cliche about women drivers.

Race car drivers occasionally become pilots. Unfortunately, their cars weren’t actually meant to fly, so if they find themselves suddenly airborne…it’s bad.

Dang, that’s crazy. Thankfully, the driver Stephane Ortelli survived with only a broken ankle.

I say again…cars aren’t supposed to fly. Except Deloreans.

Ashley Force defeated her father John in the finals of the NHRA Southern Nationals in Atlanta, claiming her first career Funny Car title, and the first ever by a non-male driver.

I’m not sure how John ever looks his buddies in the eye again after this. It’s bad enough getting beaten by a woman, but your own daughter? He might as well turn in his penis and go live in the mountains as a eunuch from now on.

(picture: ashleyforcepictures.com)

NASCAR bad boy and occasional tire-humper Tony Stewart will reportedly leave Joe Gibbs Racing at the end of the year and sign with Haas CNC.

Stewart’s JGR contract actually runs through 2009, but it’s believed that he will be bought out. Neither JGR or Haas have any comment on the story.

The JGR/Stewart partnership has been a fruitful one, leading to 32 wins and a pair of championships. However, it’s believed that Stewart, a life-long Chevy driver, was unhappy when Gibbs decided to switch to Toyotas at the beginning of this season.

Stewart’s Haas deal would reportedly include part-ownership. The Haas team has yet to crack the top 25 in owners points at the Cup level, and its top car this year, Scott Riggs’ #66, is currently just 28th in the standings.

Danica Patrick won a race. Now everyone will fuss over her even more than before. Never mind that half the good racers in IndyCar quit to go to NASCAR, making the field much less formidable. A win is a win.

Weird interview. Danica’s cute but not funny. Letterman seemed ready to cry there at the beginning.

I don’t know if I would refer to ESPN pit reporter Jamie Little as a “celebrity,” but she was apparently enough of one to get into the 34th Annual Toyota Pro/Celebrity Race, and dog-gone if she didn’t go and win the thing too.

Little held off Craftsman Truck Series champ Mike Skinner to claim the title, then found herself on the other side of the mic, being interviewed about her win.

“When you interview a winning driver after the race, they always tell you how they just try to get through that last lap,” Little said. “Well, now I know exactly what they’re talking about.”

Other notables in the race included John Salley (he didn’t hit on Jamie that I know of), Wilmer Valderrama (he did hit on Jamie), Drew Lachey and Eric Dickerson.

(picture: dirtrider.com)

Danica Patrick is more than just a tight little package…she can also drive a race car. And now she has a win under her belt to prove it.

After several years of hype, Patrick finally managed her first victory in IndyCar, claiming the Japan 300 in Tokyo. It was the 50th start of Patrick’s career.

Can she also make pancakes?

When our cars leak, it makes a mess all over the driveway, and we have to take them in to Midas to get them fixed. When race cars leak, it causes wrecks.

Ryan Newman’s leaky race car created problems for other participants in Saturday’s Subway Fit Fresh 500 in Phoenix. The fluid Newman spread all over the track caused six drivers, including Newman himself, to pile-up.

A red flag would halt action so crews could clean up the fluid.

The race, once resumed, would come down to a fuel gamble by Jimmie Johnson. The 2007 champ and his crew chief Chad Knaus opted not to pit in the last 15 laps. Johnson gained an advantage when other cars went in for fuel, and made it pay off by nursing his car to victory.

Michael McDowell loses it during qualifying and goes hard into the wall. Somehow, he was able to walk away.

Tony Stewart is our favorite NASCAR driver. Even if he finished last in every race, he would still be our favorite, because he is just an angry bastard who doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, and will say and do anything at any moment.

Stewart, it turns out, is also a charitable fellow. Recently, Tony issued a challenge to potential donors to NASCAR’s Victory Gang Foundation: Give $100,000 and I’ll have my back waxed.

Apparently, a lot of people wanted to see Tony Stewart in pain, because they gave generously, and pushed the fund over $100,000. So, Tony held up his end by getting the fur waxed from his back. The audio is available right here.

I bet you Kurt Busch wouldn’t have the stones to do that. No way. Tony Stewart is a man.