Oscar De La Hoya put away his fishnets in favor of boxing trunks Saturday night, scoring a unanimous decision against over-matched Steve Forbes in what was billed as East L.A. native De La Hoya’s “Homecoming” fight.

De La Hoya used his jab to dominate tomato-can Forbes. “This is how I envisioned the fight,” De La Hoya said. “This was the plan, to fight more straight up, use my jab and be aggressive.”

De La Hoya next hopes to get a rematch with Floyd Mayweather Jr., who beat him last May by split decision. He believes the Forbes fight was a good tune-up for that match, which would likely go down in September.

“That was my game plan for this fight and that is how I plan to fight Mayweather, straight up, being aggressive,” De La Hoya said. “Now, I feel sharper. This was the idea, to get the work in and use this style.”

Mike Tyson has clearly not been training for a comeback. The only thing he’s been lifting is a fork…if he even bothers using a fork.

I know how to beat Mike Tyson now. If you hit him while his mouth is open his pants fall down and you can pound his gut. Or you can just get your friend who’s beaten the game to give you the code.

Roy Jones Jr. was doing analysis for Saturday night’s Hopkins/Calzaghe match when he decided to go on a rant against UFC president Dana White for not letting Anderson Silva box him.

I understand why Roy is so upset about this. He wants to fight Silva bad because by doing so he would momentarily become relevant again. What does he have to look forward to otherwise? Sitting there with Brian Kenny talking about other people’s fights. I’d rather mop floors at a methadone clinic, quite frankly.

Welshman Joe Calzaghe recovered from a 1st round knockdown to score a somewhat controversial split decision against Bernard Hopkins.

The knockdown occurred with 2 minutes left in the round. Hopkins snuck a right in on Calzaghe and sent him to the canvas.

Calzaghe made his mark on the judges in the final five rounds. Still, one judge scored it for Hopkins, and many ring-side analysts agreed that Hopkins had won the fight. Hopkins himself, who famously declared that he would never lose to a white boy, believed he should’ve been awarded the decision.

“I just really feel like I took the guy to school,” Hopkins said afterward. “I feel like I made him fight my fight, not his.”

Calzaghe would praise Hopkins’ “cleverness” after the match.

Manny Pacquiao beat Juan Manuel Marquez Saturday night by split decision. The fight was nearly as close as their first, which ended in a draw.

In perhaps the greatest fight ever between a Nigerian and a Russian, Samuel Peter KOed Oleg Maskaev in the 6th round to claim the WBC Heavyweight championship.

Peter, “The Nigerian Nightmare,” moves to 30-1 in his career with 23 KOs, while Maskaev falls to 34-6. The KO came when the referee stepped in after a barrage of punches by Peter. There were only 4 seconds left in the round at the time.

Video in Turkish!

Daisy De La Hoya is the niece of boxer Oscar De La Hoya. She is presently a contestant on the VH1 reality show Rock of Love 2 starring washed-up, balding former hair-bander Bret Michaels. Not content with the fame afforded her by her participation in this show, Daisy, a wannabe musician, threw up a provocative picture of herself on MySpace. Of course the “cocaine” is only flour, Daisy says. She would never dream of posing with a real illegal substance…

One might accuse Daisy of tarnishing the De La Hoya name…but let’s face it, Oscar already took care of that with his cross-dressing pictures. Sorry, alleged cross-dressing pictures. He still claims that wasn’t him in the fish-nets dancing with the hooker. I doubt Daisy will ever disavow her naughty image. It’s pretty much all she’s got going for her right now.

Floyd Mayweather is everywhere lately. You see him punching Big Show. Making it rain at press conferences. Cozying up to Keyshia Cole at events in Vegas. It’s almost like the guy wants to be famous or something.

Mayweather appears to have something in his eye. Keyshia would be the one with something in her eye later.

(pictures: Bossip)

I’m not sure why Shaq is humping WrestleMania. Maybe he plans on becoming a wrestling announcer after he retires from basketball. Anyway, he thinks Floyd Mayweather is going to break Big Show’s nose again. When did he break it the first time? Oh, when he “punched” him.

If the world seems different today, it’s because for the first time in ages, there is a unified heavyweight champion of boxing.

Okay, I did the best I could to sell it. Now let’s get back to reality - no one gives a damn about boxing. And it’s unlikely that Wladimir Klitschko’s unanimous decision over Sultan Ibragimov Saturday night in Madison Square Garden did much to change that.

I personally didn’t watch it (cause I’m too poor to afford HBO), but everyone who did says it was boring. The fans at the Garden even started booing. Maybe they thought the fighters had turned into Isiah Thomas and Stephon Marbury.

At least Knicks fans who boo the team care about what they’re booing - the ones who got after Klitschko and Ibragimov did it out of boredom (and the frustration of realizing they’d shelled out an absurd amount of money to watch a couple of dirty Russian dudes haul each other around the ring like drunken grizzly bears).

Afficionados of the “sweet science” will insist the Klitschko/Ibragimov match was an exhibition of real boxing tactics and technique. Apparently, Klitschko used his left jab really well, and didn’t throw a single right hand until the fifth round.

Wow. That guy’s good…at not using his right hand. Maybe next time he should tie it behind his back for kicks. Or fight with his shoelaces tied together. Or wrestle an actual bear.

As I said before, no one cares about boxing - and this circumstance is likely to prevail as long as the best fighters are all from former Soviet bloc nations and have unpronouncable names.

What boxing needs is a good charismatic American fighter - a Great Western Hope as it were. Someone like Mike Tyson who combines raw power with a certain indescribable, lunatic charm.

Or, maybe boxing should just morph into UFC once and for all. Forget about “sweet science” - just have guys bludgeon each other. Give them weapons. Hammers and bats and chainsaws. Go all-out Thunderdome. Battle to the death.

I love how boxing is the “civilized” form of fighting now. Well, if civilized is synonymous with boring, then yes - the heavyweight division is incredibly civilized.