(picture: Yahoo!/Reuters)

Those who follow celebrity gossip know Victoria Beckham and Kate Beckinsale are BFFs. Victoria used to be BFFs with Katie Holmes, but Katie made Victoria mad by saying her tattoos looked trashy. Beckinsale doesn’t care about Victoria’s tattoos…she’s too busy being obsessed with her own vagina, which she refers to as “The Pharoah’s Tomb.” Never say this site isn’t educational.

(picture: Yahoo!/Reuters)

This is the first time I’ve ever seen a picture of Posh where her hair appeared to be moving. I honestly thought it wasn’t really hair but some kind of wig made of a space-age polymer. You know, the same space-age polymer Posh’s boobs are made of.

There’s nothing funny about a bunch of little people playing soccer. So they’re little. So they’re playing soccer. So what? It’s just…

Funny.

David Beckham is finally starting to earn the gazillion dollars he’s being paid by the L.A. Galaxy. The international soccer hunk scored his first goal in MLS Thursday night, leading the Galaxy to a 2-0 win over San Jose.

Somewhere Snoop Dogg is smiling…of course, because Snoop Dogg is always smiling (and I think we know why).

David Beckham earned his 100th cap with England on Wednesday when he started for the national team against France in a friendly international at the Stade de France.

For those of you who, like me, know nothing about soccer, earning your 100th cap means you got a broken tooth for the 100th time and now have to have your 100th cap.

Apparently the dentist comes right on the field, or course or track or whatever they call the big green area where soccer is played, and does the procedure in front of everyone.

Beckham expressed his happiness over achieving the rare honor.

“I’m very honored,” Beckham said.

“Straight from when I started playing for England I never dreamed I’d get 100 caps, and hopefully beyond.

“I’m happy but like I said during the week I want to carry on. Of course things can change but I want to carry on playing for my country.”

The game was pretty unmemorable for England outside of Beckham’s 100th cap. First of all, they lost to France 1-0. Second of all, Beckham got a yellow card for fouling Franck Ribery in the 38th minute. Third, Beckham didn’t do squat besides get the yellow card, and was yanked just after the hour mark.

A soccer match in Brazil had to be stopped after lightning struck one of the players. The torrential downpour wasn’t a hint that something bad might happen? I’m just askin’…

It got ugly fast at a soccer match in Cali, Columbia. 80 people were reportedly injured in the brawl, and there were at least 18 stabbings.

AC Milan’s Ronaldo broke hearts all over Brazil when, in a match against Livorno Wednesday, he ruptured a tendon in his right knee.

The oft-injured Brazilian icon was flown to Paris after the match to undergo surgery. His doctor offered a somewhat hopeful prognosis:

“He’ll come back but it depends on what he wants to do with the rest of his career, whether he wants to continue for a certain number of years or if he wants to end his career quite soon,” said surgeon Gerard Saillant. “I think that depends on him, on his willingness to continue to work hard and to make the sacrifices necessary to come back, realising that it is more difficult at 31 than at 20.”

18-year-old Alberto Paloschi made a huge splash in his Serie A debut with AC Milan, scoring just 15 seconds after entering the match with Siena, which AC Milan won 1-0.

That means Paloschi scored the only goal. Good thing they put him in then, huh?

The young phenom credits his early success to vitamins and listening to his coach.

“The coach told me just to play alongside Inzaghi and to go deep,” said Paloschi.

“I am very happy and now I hope to play regularly and to continue getting better.

“I would like to dedicate the goal to all my family and for all the sacrifices they made to get me here.”

I made up the part about the vitamins.

Seriously, Paloschi seems like a really nice kid. He could play another twenty years and never score another goal though. So I hope he and his family who sacrificed so much are enjoying it.

Does Keeley Hazell have his number yet I wonder?

(source: Goal.com)(pic source)

David Beckham’s first year with the L.A. Galaxy was great in publicity terms, but not very productive in the area of wins - a situation Beckham hopes is not repeated in his second season with the MLS franchise.

Beckham, world-wide soccer superstar and massive stud, was present Monday when the Galaxy opened up training camp. When asked what his expectations were for the new season Beckham replied, “To win something.”

And how do the Galaxy go about fulfilling this wish?

“We can’t afford to be in the position we were in, where we ended up chasing it,'’ Beckham said. “That’s not good for the players or for a team. We’ve got to get it right from the first game and carry on right through the season.'’

Beckham knows that his own health is key to the team’s success.

“Hopefully, I’ll stay a lot more fit than I was last year,'’ said Beckham. “I’m just looking forward to this season. It’s a fresh start for us; it’s exciting.'’

The Galaxy begin their new season with a new coach, former AC Milan star Ruud Gullit (coolest…name…ever…). Galaxy owner Alexi Lalas speaks highly of Gullit.

“Ruud brings an ability to deal with players in an equal way and get the most out of them, whether it’s a young draft pick or the most famous player in the world,'’ Lalas said.

I just can’t get past that name, Ruud Gullit. I seriously want to change my name now. I want to call myself “Chuurlish Gizzard.” Maybe I should stick an umlaut in there - be really death-metal.

As for Beckham…let’s face it, guy’s old and broken-down. He’ll be lucky to play half the Galaxy’s games this year. Plus, at some point, the novelty is going to wear off. Road games aren’t going to sell-out anymore just cause Beckham is coming. The cheese is gonna fall off the cracker, if you know what I’m saying.

(source: SI.com)

Here is your chance to vote on the coach you would least like to have in charge of your team. These past few weeks have provided many able candidates, but who is the least good. Is it Bill Belichick, who is willing to cheat to win and has no friends. Is it Willie Randolph, who is about to lead his team to a winless finish in the New York Mets final homestand, and a post-season miss after leading the NL East for almost five straight months? Is it Greg Ryan, who sat his star goalie in the US Women’s World Cup, only to play someone who performed well in the past, but was clearly rusty? Or is it everyone’s favorite coach of the Big Blue, Lloyd Carr? Vote Here: