Robert Cheruiyot is becoming the lance armstrong of the Boston Marathon.

On Monday, the Kenyan won the Patriots Day event for the fourth time in six years…not quite as impressive as Armstrong’s seven straight tour de france wins maybe, but still damn good.

Cheruiyot’s run clocked in at 2:07:06, better than second place Abderrahime Bouramdane of Morocco and third place Khalid El Boumlili, also of Morocco.

It’s the dream of every Moroccan runner, by the way, for jokes about Kenyan marathon runners to become jokes about Moroccan ones.

Dire Tune? No, has nothing to do with “Sultans of Swing”…it’s the name of the Ethiopian woman who won this year’s Boston Marathon.

Tune prevailed by just two seconds over Alevtina Biktimirova, who sounds like she should either be a tennis player or an eye-chart. Tune’s time was 2:25:25. She and Biktimirova had the closest finish on the women’s side in marathon history. Tune nearly blew it for herself by momentarily taking a wrong turn toward the end.

(Editor’s Note: I realize Tune’s name is pronounced “Deer-ay Toon-ay”, but pronouncing it like “Dire Straits Tune” without the Straits is just cooler.)

(picture: ESPN/AP)

Sports blogging rule #145 requires me to post any and all Allison Stokke pictures that come my way. I personally don’t get the big deal. She’s only half-attractive…a little thick now, to be perfectly honest. Horndoggery can sometimes be bewildering.

It’s the pole, isn’t it?

(pictures: mychillpill.net)

I had no idea Bruce Jenner was pals with Reggie Bush. Maybe they just ran into each other outside the church after Easter service?

Jenner’s one of those people now who even old friends of his don’t recognize right away. Dude’s face is faker than Kim Kardashian’s ass.

By the way…Kim Kardashian’s ass…Easter egg hunt…put your own joke together if you wish.

(picture: Just Jared)

Breaking: Disgraced former track star Marion Jones has turned herself in to a federal prison in Texas to begin serving her six-month sentence for lying to investigators and committing check fraud.

Jones, who admitting using steroids obtained from BALCO labs, has already returned the five medals she won dishonestly at the 2000 Olympics.

(picture: mediaoutrage.com)

Young female pole vaulter Allison Stokke has popped up on the net again. Now she’s at Cal. She’s still dressing in tight outfits while clutching poles. Wank away.

(picture: Busted Coverage)

The best news out of this is that Justin Gatlin no longer has a tie to the world record!

Asafa Powell’s record-setting run in the 100 meters took the title of world’s fastest man away from his co-record holder Justin Gatlin. Here’s a look at the evolution of the world’s fastest man title in recent years.

Runner Time Date
Asafa Powell 9.74 9/9/07
Asafa Powell 9.77 8/18/06
Asafa Powell 9.77 6/11/06
Justin Gatlin 9.77 5/12/06 *
Asafa Powell 9.77 6/14/06
Tim Montgomery 9.78 9/14/02 **
Maurice Greene 9.79 6/16/99

more on ESPN.

Stick to track and field… stay away from music videos and from throwing baseballs. This is so disturbing.

Thanks FanHouse for the grab!

In our continued saga that is the San Jose SaberCats try outs…

We continue to get ourselves into something that hopefully resembles respectability. Two days after our first track workout, we returned for some speed work and broad jumps. Though fatigued and burnt out, we have little excuse for attempts like this.

Andrew “Mad Dog” Machado demonstrates how not to do the broad jump:

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Ryan demonstrates that even his best broad jump is still yards away from respectability:

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The SaberCats tryouts are now just a few weeks away and last night was my first workout to prep for the combine-like drills. In fact, this was the very first time I have ever run the 40 yard dash or tried the broad jump (surprisingly those aren’t drills commonly done in swimming).

The results? I have a long way to go to avoid being the first person cut. My 40 was an unofficial (very hard to tell) 5.1 and my broad jump was 3 yards.

My 40:

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Reggie Bush’s 40:

My Broad Jump:

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No idea who this is, but he crushed me: